“We stumbled home to finish the job
of spreading my brother out
in the places we best remembered,
and in the garden
I gathered my handfuls
and sowed at last my tears,
One for the wasp's nest,
One for the pear tree,
One for the feast,
One for the fire,
One for the den, and
One for the cut down willow,
where we played the perfect game of hide and seek.”
Analysis by Bahiyah Borhan
When a loved one has passed away, the only things left to cling to are memories. However, the memories may not bring joy for some. Andrew F. Peters shows us this in Stanza 5 of the poem. Although the imagery of planting in “sowed” suggests growth, there is a negative connotation here because it refers to the speaker’s “tears” for his brother who has died and been cremated. There can be two interpretations of “sowed”, one to mean he has finally buried his pain, and the other to suggest that his pain grows, as sowing would lead to growth thus deepening his grief. Furthermore, the anaphora created through the repetition of “One for the...” from lines 48 to 53 adds a rhythm as the speaker scatters the ashes in various places which hold fond memories of their time together. It is as though he is portioning out the “handfuls” of what remains of his brother for the “wasp’s nest”, “pear tree”, “feast”, “fire” and “den”, sharing the ashes with places that are special. The anaphora makes it seem as if he were the one in control to “finish the job” and ensure equal distribution which suggests an attempt to take charge of things. The scattering of the ashes is symbolic of letting go. On the contrary, he is unable to do so and thus is unable to move on with his life. Line 53 brings the tone down, suggesting the speaker’s grief returning when he portions out “One for the cut down willow”.
The ‘o’ sound in “willow” is like a moan revealing his pain at having to part with the ashes. This is also seen when he describes his action as having “sowed at last [his] tears”. It evokes sympathy for the speaker as he tries to deal with conflicting emotions and memories. Even places that they “best remembered” also become a source of sadness.
